What does it feel like?

What does it feel like to lose your innocence?
Dreaming, you're blanketed in ignorance. You stumble from the reverie unknowing; you drop the covers from your unscratched body, lift your eyelids to the blinding, painful knowledge, stifle your tears, stumble forward heavily, and fall into your life.
The realization blurs your eyes, washes in rays over your chest and shoulders. The unwanted truth falls over you and you feel it envelop your neck and spine, slipping down, down to the shaky bottom, full of electricity that numbs your fingers or unleashes pain at its very worst.
Can you recover here? Here where the electricity is crippling and only the will of your mind keeps the stinging force from your soul? Yes, you can recover even here. You could learn to block it out. And you can, if you try desperately, even hold on to the sweet memories where we all once lived and breathed.
Just maybe you could try to forget. How it grabs you firmly, how it shakes violently!
It is life that wakes you, life. Realizing what has happened is looking in from the outside at the end of the beginning, and forgetting what you've lost.

I wrote this 4 years ago. My heart still aches when I read it, remembering how I felt at that time. How I still feel today.